Tag Archives: Post Grad

an ode to young adulthood: be here now.

2 Oct

hey, october.

IMG_9328

IMG_9235

this morning on my way to work, the city was humming with semi-bundled joggers and caffeinated 9-5ers, moving all together in this continuous, dreamy state.

IMG_5073

and as we linger idly from summer to fall, the sky is a spectacular hue of oceanic blue—a true token to how much I appreciate colorado right now.

IMG_5374

I’m reminded of how much I miss all of the things I’ve deliberately neglected for the last six months—like my frye boots, dark wash jeans, and steel-cut oats.

and as we tip-toe towards autumn, the days are becoming noticeably shorter, but I welcome the chilly mornings with open arms.

IMG_9004

IMG_5234

when I was little, summer seemed like this broad expanse of endless time:

we would spend our days perfecting the art of cannon balls and back flips, and our nights sneaking onto tennis courts to scream and laugh and come home with scraped knees and rosy cheeks.

but of course, summer plays out differently now.

IMG_9172

I said sayonara a long time ago to rolling out of my warm sleeping bag, blurry-eyed and foggy in the middle of the pine-studded sierra nevadas. I’d throw on a pair of shorts and dirty sneakers and spend the day capsizing sailboats, writing post cards, and failing to nail the bullseye in archery.

these days, it seems as if adulthood scoffs at me far too often, as if to say: deadlines and obligations rule your life, edie!

consequently, I sometimes feel like I’m hurtling way too fast into this vortex of commitments.

and I can’t find the brakes.

IMG_9331

but thankfully, october is here.

IMG_9171

and this month is one of my favorites.

IMG_9364

this time of year forces me to lower that inevitable sense of panic I feel when I realize I haven’t capitalized on all things summer.

because really, persistent, urgent ambition isn’t the stuff that late-septembers early-octobers are made of.

IMG_9137

things like milky iced coffee and carrying home the most spectacular sunflowers from the farmer’s market are.

IMG_8936

so,

 I’m trying to make a conscious effort to s l o w d o w n.

you know, ‘be present’ – a cliché woven through enough yoga classes you think I’d actually embrace it.

because I hate looking too far into the future.

IMG_9377

I start envisioning a narrative that isn’t, well, a narrative yet.

I find myself clinging to expectations instead of chasing my dreams.

IMG_5351

but,

yesterday and today and tomorrow are all a part of this greater story I like to call my ‘young adulthood.’ things like work and friends and travel blend together in a seemingly chaotic fashion, but it’s all a glimpse towards chapters that lie ahead.

if you know me fairly well, you’ll know I don’t mind doing things solo. actually, most of the time I really savor my independence and curiosity. I’m the type to chat up the maintenance guys in our apartment, just because I’m inquisitive by nature.

and suddenly, a stranger’s story nonchalantly changes my entire perspective, and the rising action to my young adulthood experiences a monumental shift.

so, as the weeks unveil themselves, I’m embracing them just like these luminescent fall days: with open arms (and a hooded sweatshirt).

happy wednesday, and happy fall!

(signed, the post-grad.)

’tis the season for (comical) break ups.

5 Jun

27342c6b585587f3d15351c33e90a359

if you’re into sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, read on.

otherwise—you have been warned—this post isn’t PG-rated.

it’s hump day, after all!

to begin? well, where it allllll begins.

need-some-space-breakup-ecard-someecards

it’s either:

“we need to talk.” oh, about your day, baby?! mine was great too!

OR

“this just….isn’t working.” i know, i know. more sex, less arguing? i can totally do that.

1295470589752_8103775

OR

“i’m studying abroad next semester.” …..so? i’ll like, skype you or something. no clothes required.

OR

“i just made out with your sorority sister.” babe, it’s fine. forgive and forget iiiiis my motto!

……..

ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?

if you are guilty of ANY of the above break up banter, i’m probably judging you right now.

i will, however, give you a high-five for conversing face-to-face. whatta concept!

 MjAxMS0xZTc2Yjg1NWRjNTY0Mzcz_516f12c52be79

on the contrary. IF you were notified via snapchat

…my god, that’s low. but so efficient?

READY, SET, GO SELFIE!

6 seconds of break-up time GLORY and then POOF!

it disappears into the vortex of every other pointless snapchat.

…f o r e v e r.

ummm, FYI. your ex probably sent it to like, a lot of friends.

MjAxMS04NTdjYTZmODhiNWRlMjE5_516f130a1e3cd

regardless, i SWEAR! break ups are trending faster than juice cleanses, crossfit, and the paleo diet. can vegans and cavemen love each other? I DUNNO.

anyway. after you start hyperventilating, your thoughts resemble a self-conscious, irrational teenage girl requesting tampons, chocolate, and a shopping spree:

….seriously? OF ALL TIMES. you’re breaking up with me right now?

FIRST: you selfish idiot,

allow me to make sure i have enough PTO days left this year (which, shocker! i don’t.)

BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF PUTTING ON A NON-SLUTTY SKIRT AND A J CREW SWEATER AND FLATS THAT GIVE ME BLISTERS IS LIKE ASKING ME TO PUT ON A BATHING SUIT AFTER I’VE GONE HAM AT A $4.99 ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET.

ce3fc752c823291b732f1a618c7c240e17

also.

i am extremely sensitive. and emotionally fragile.

i WILL send bitchy e-mails without emoticons. watch me!

SECOND: i’m going to have a bon voyage party,

please-join-celebrating-end-breakup-ecard-someecards

invite your closest friends,

friends-breakup-ecard-someecards

and ask them to tweet and instagram until your newsfeed is cluttered with:

#bestbreakuppartyever

#pinata!

#whoamigoingtomakeoutwithtonight

#drunk

#imnaked

 THIRD: organize my funeral.

b80ab89b9fd5c00ac739a38f1b7b03c6f3

but really.

now what?

1. save a horse, ride a few cowboys?

2. survive solely on bethenny frankel’s skinny girl cosmos and ben & jerry’s half baked?

and bagel bites?

3. channel your inner-taylor swift and write passive aggressive hate music?

MjAxMS1hZDFkODc2MGM3ZmVmYzYw

OR!

even more effective, shout (with 2-day-old mascara running down your face) taylor’s thought-provoking, mature wisdom:

WEEEEE ARE NEVER, EVERRR, EVERRRR, GETTING BACK TO TOGETHER.

you sound really good! and you look really good! no, really.

>>>>>

now.

on a more serious note,

i get it.

740f7358f2773a813a173cbecf26eafc

you feel totally betrayed and abandoned and you hate everyone.

and you probably wish you could move on so effortlessly.

aedd6048eb283c4aef549d70eb6daddb

because suffering is one of the most painful experiences in life (besides realizing you’re out of bagel bites).

6cad9ea5ca3525fc90e1093201ca27d0

you’re adamant about defining yourself a ‘failure’ because the relationship failed.

but let’s honest, there were probably signs that pointed towards incompatibility. things that simply couldn’t be mended.

80344aace6bbb59092cdec6395328443

preach it, lil wayne.

BUT.

take ownership of that failure.

allow yourself to be humble. ask for a little support.

041b2c086797f6397175fe07d1c3a1f8

when your heart is finally pieced together, you’ll knock it out of the ballpark when it comes to your next relationship(s).

you will find your identity again. your ex didn’t steal it from you, you just became so god damn dependent.

you’ve forgotten who you are.

a59fee40429764b86c643aab443b8bbc

i promise, that in this grieving process,

you’ll find bliss inside the mess.

break ups are not for the weak. it takes courage and WILL POWER to face your emotions head on.

06076a60c948c30d60fb3bf79e46b01c

i just ask one thing.

don’t settle.

and keep an open mind.

this is YOUR chance to get it right. go out. have fun. meet all types of people.

because:

cfcd8e475c16f2fd3c08f0504cac3b86

(signed, the post-grad.)

finding happiness, without a set destination.

28 May

do you ever get in your car and just… drive?

miles and miles of unsolicited pavement and unfamiliar exits, white dotted lines and that ominous center divide.

a shuffled playlist with the windows rolled down, each note and lyric, a memory.

some good! some not so good.

IMG_7764

slowly, warmth settles on your dashboard,

the smoggy city air beckons as the hostile enemy to the fresh air you crave.

left hand out the window, it creates energetic waves, parallel to the ground below you.

sun on your cheeks and in your hair,

eyes gaze forward, stretched wide-open.

> > > > >

gas, break, clutch, wheel, mirrors:

the mechanisms to your indefinite finish line.

time doesn’t really matter,

and the rest of the world is distantyet calling—from the confines of your four-wheeled ignition.

IMG_7766

like driving, life is the result of actions and their corresponding reactions.

breaking abruptly and changing gears and switching lanes to get us where we think we’re supposed to be.

circumstances are not-so-pretty road blocks,

unforeseen and usually out of our control.

they challenge our happiness. like ULTRAshitty drivers. and even worse, traffic.

but! at the end of the day (err, the end of the drive?), WE are very much in control of our OWN happiness.

LOVE traffic. WAVE to the asshole tailgating you!

i’m kidding.

IMG_7774

actually. at this point in time, i suggest making the responsible, mature choice:

find the nearest taco bell or in-n-out drive-through.

cool dorito ranch taco with a side of animal fries? 

oh.

looks like i just condoned eating your emotions…

it’s FINE! we all do it.

IMG_7790

okay, okay. before i give up, just one last thing:

on my almost-empty-tank-of-gas drive this weekend,

>>yep, just me and my baby!

my mind was spinning in correspondence to my wheels.

as i drove nowhere in particular, i toyed with the cliché saying that it really isn’t about being the first one to get the finish line.

because in that sense, you’ve sort of missed the entire point.

IMG_7791

finding the thrill in driving somewhere, somewhere t o t a l l y new is much more real.

i promise you’ll find long-term happiness this way, instead of the reckless, temporary satisfaction that comes from always wanting to cross the finish line, first.

IMG_7759

with your hands on the wheel, YOUR happiness is, well, all yours.

every now and then, check your rear view mirror. we take with us where we have been.

but gazing forward will automatically propel you in a NEW direction.

one with adventure and opportunities.

and hopefully plenty of happiness

and more taco bell! obviously.

(signed, the post-grad.)

35,000 feet.

10 Apr

[to preface]: this was supposed to be my first blog post.

but then by some fate of the universe, i lost it.

(huh?)

you know. like i wrote it and then it disappeared. like my computer said, BYEEEE! right after i finished.

ihearyouawkwardsilence.

anyway. i thoroughly convinced myself that i DID in fact write it. and that i DID in fact save it. and that i saved it ON my desktop.

so, i stared.

at my desktop.

and let me just mention that my desktop has like, 5 things on it. one of which is this:

ecard

go me, go!

turns out i DID save it. and ON my desktop, nonetheless.

(facepalm)

SO. if that wasn’t the most intriguing, i-can’t-WAIT-to-read-whatever-else-she-has-cluttered-in-her-post-grad brain introduction, i don’t know what is.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

current cruising altitude: 35,000 feet.

and just to put things into perspective, i stand 5’0 on a good day (height-challenged jokes, commence).

anyway, it’s more like +/- 35,000 feet with all this buckled-in-i-think-i’m-gunna-puke-my-cereal turbulence.

MOTION SICKNESS COMIN’ IN HOT! but let’s not get technical.

flying is kind of a therapeutic. and SOunnecessarily stressful at the same time.

case in point: i arrived the ‘recommended’ two hours before my flight (high five!) and i STILL found myself running to gate 76A with a strong cup of coffee in my right hand, ludicrously-priced magazines in left hand; while simultaneously texting my roommate, checking the weather, scrolling through instagram, reading e-mails, and cursing myself for not charging my phone longer.

^run-on sentence comin’ in hot.

anyway. starting this blog somewhere between the golden gate bridge and the rocky mountains is a bit fitting.

california is my ‘home.’ it has (a lot of) my heart. it has my family. my childhood. my high school friends. my frizzy hair and my braces. my swim meets. my road trips. my backyard. my sleepovers. my accomplishments and my failures. my firsts.

colorado has another piece of my heart. it has my college experience. my closest friends. my work. my passions and my hobbies. my vulnerability. my independence. my optimism. my unknown.

as if walking across the graduation stage in a baggy gown//oversized-cap would lead to an enlightening iknowEXACTLYwhatiamgoingtodofortherestofmylife! revelation.

news flash: i got a business degree, not a bachelors in finding clarity.

but if i’ve learned anything in the last few months, it’s about embracing the transition. finding a job and a new place to live and making new friends and loosening that superTIGHT grip on ‘knowing,’ just enough to find solace in the unknown.

so for now, let’s just enjoy the ride. because really, we’re blessed to be where we are. and where we’re going.

(signed, the post-grad.)

let’s get started.

9 Apr

whoa. doin’ that blog thing, yeah? yeah.

soooo hi! even if you aren’t a recent graduate, hopefully what i write here will entice you to stay (no pressure though).

this blog is simply an expressive framework. a creative outlet. a tangible space screaming, THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND AND TYPE TO ME! okaythisismoreexcitingthanithought.

hold up. i’m pretty sure the internet isn’t tangible…right? it’s more like a never-ending stream of information. and false information. and really, really talented, smart, opinionated people. and posers. and wannabes.

BUT. i’m not here to be a poser. or a wannabe. i mean, there’s really nothing revolutionary about my humble space on the interweb…so i’m not here to preach. just talk. real talk. like an invisible internet friend to another invisible internet friend enjoying a cup of coffee (or beer. or water. no biggie.).

>>wait. invisible internet friends? really? let’s just take that beverage with a hefty dose of i-just-met-you-and-i’m-already-embarassing-myself [!]

anyway, think of this blog as a space for me to write. and you to read. and us to connect.

i’m not perfect. i can be a chronic over-spender (i’m talking to YOU, whole foods!). i wait to tackle my to-do list until procrastination has a whoooole new meaning (deadlines? HA.). i leave my clothes in the dryer until they’re wrinkled (…and then said laundry ends up on my bed. unfolded, of course.).

i don’t sleep enough. i refuse to put on makeup because i’m too lazy to take it off. i text and drive. i shamelessly sing in my car. (which is fine. except for the fact that i pretend i’m singing a duet with carrie underwood…and we’re about to win a grammy.).

i never listen to my voicemails and i’m even worse at calling people back.

i’m vulnerable. i push myself beyond my limits. i can be a doormat.

oh, and i guarantee (if you’re a stickler about grammar), you’ll come across a typo (or two). i apologize in advance.

^so, that list? yeah…it’s a lot longer. a LOT longer. but my deemed ‘bad’ habits could also be a lot worse.

in any case, those are just some of things that make me human. imperfect. chock-full of flaws. but human. so, i’m working on finding ‘me.’ cliche? probably. i guess i’m trying to find a little clarity. fulfill my potential. embrace who i am as a whole person.

fulfill my potential? embrace who i am as a whole person? blah. blah. blah. to be honest, i don’t even know what that all means…but i kind of want to find out.

every day we wake up with a fresh start. the opportunity to decide what’s for breakfast and what attitude we’re going to wear on our sleeve. so c’est la vie, k? be ready. be eager. be grateful for this little life and all the people in it.

so, yeah. that’s why i’m here. to acknowledge the fact that life is messy. and chaotic. and that maybe we can do this whole i-slept-through-my-alarm-and-my-bed-head-is-obnoxiously-instagram-worthy-today, together.

this blog is a little a lot bare right now, but all things are a work-in-progress when you begin them (…and quite frankly, until you finish them). anyway, post-grad details doesn’t have a specific theme. yet.

streamofconsciousness comin’ atcha.

you gotta start somewhere, and i suppose these blank pages aren’t going to write themselves.

(signed, the post-grad.)